Wednesday, 29 February 2012

My top 10 best ( or worst ) excuses for bands cancelling a gig !!!

After years and years of promoting  unsigned bands in small live music venues I have probably heard every excuse or reason for a cancellation of a pre-booked show - sometimes with notice, but very often the week of the gig, or even worse the actually day!

After years of getting use to this occupational hazard it became clear that I can always look at the funny side of the whys / excuses /. reasons. Sometimes you sense it's genuine , sometimes you sense your being spun a yarn.. Either way I have listed my top ten favourite ( or worst depending on how you look at it ) excuses for a band or act cancelling a booking at one of my booked venue gigs........

I have excluded the many obvious and boring ones like -  ( we got our dates wrong - its snowing - we double booked - someones ill - the car broke down - the drummer broke his arm - the drums are broken ) ....the list goes on .......and have listed my TOP TEN quotes that stuck in mind. All genuinely said to me by text / phone or in person !

10 - ' we have decided we do not like small venues any more as we are ready for stadium rock '
( for a band without any kind of record deal and a following of maybe 30 people - a bold statement )

9 -  .' because of the economical climate and the recession we no longer want to waste our time in  band ' 
( might be the most sensible excuse iv'e heard ) 

8 - ' my son will not be playing the gig at your venue......because he is in prison ' 
( mummy sounded cheesed off - I believed her )

7-  ' the singer is a racist, and doesn't hide it on stage - so we threw him out the band ' 
( an excellent reason ! I was happy they cancelled !)

6 - ' we are not playing the gig, because after a detailed band meeting we decided we are crap '
( I love some self honesty  )

5 -' the last time we played at your venue my girlfriend got into a punch up afterwards and got a right beating ! '
( yes the club after the gigs can be a bit rough granted at this venue ! but still ouch all round ) 

4- ' we don't like the stairs in your venue - there is too many and we cant be arsed to carry our equipment up and down them ' 
( of please !!!! I really was shell shocked with this one. That's dedication to your art!! )

3- ' yeah sorry we had to cancel, our drummer ( who was a party person hasten to add ) got dumped by his girlfriend,   he's lost the plot a little, he has stopped speaking to us, drinking and going out , found God and stopped playing drums '
( I knew the drummer well - what can you say to that - from John Bonham to Cliff Richard in 2 months - WOW ) 

2- ' the bass player jumped off a building  yesterday and is intensive care ' 
( Speechless - turned out true story - he lived...but only just) 

1 - ' the band got signed for a major record deal and so are cancelling all gigs from now on as there is slight change of tactics ' - ( their agent at the time )
( utterly true and utterly demoralising as the band in Question were THE ARTIC MONKEYS and I booked them for £40 quid on hearing one song -  'I bet you look good on the dance floor' - OUCH OUCH OUCH !! )

1 comment:

  1. Had a little face book feedback from other promoters concerning the above list with some cool quotes they have fired at them too

    "I have developed an allergic reaction to bass tones and when I hear sub frequencies I feel sick and faint" from stuart tongue

    ' a band member has gone missing ' from Rachel Marclar Plant